DC Lottery--Are you Kidding Me?

Generally, the dish in front of me keeps me entertained during lunch. However, every once in a while I need something a little extra to get my mind off the daunting afternoon work schedule. That is when I turn to one of my favorite activities: Scratch off tickets!

Earlier today I dropped by my local convenience store to purchase a few games pieces. It's always exciting inserting your money into one of the DC Lottery machines and selecting the scratch off game which looks to be the biggest payoff. Today I purchased a new offering from the DC Lottery called, "The Double Bubble Doubler." Upon scratching and losing, I thought to myself: You got to be shitting me DC Lottery.

First off, I generally do not believe in legislative efforts preventing cigarette and gambling companies from advertising to the youth of America. If anything, the laws passed are an indictment on the sophistication level of young Americans. Leave Joe Camel alone! The youth of America are much smarter than many of the politicians in this country give them credit. In fact, I'm willing to bet a young American can point out fraud or spot a bad investment opportunity long before a Harvard MBA.

However, this time DC Lottery has gone a bit too far. First, this "Double Bubble Doubler," looks like a candy wrapper. It reminds me of my innocent youth when I would chew one stale piece of Double Bubble after another while playing little league baseball. Second, the lottery ticket is a scratch and sniff! I must commend the makers of the ticket, they have created a delicious smelling game, but come on now--I can assure you no adult has ever purchased a lotto ticket to smell it. Finally, the lotto ticket advertises Double Bubble gum, so the grand prize should be a lifetime supply of it.

The ticket may go a bit too far to get the youth to join in on this vice, however I do like to give credit where credit is due--the masterminds behind this lottery game certainly know what they are doing. Should this lotto game stay on the market, I am sure that teens all over the DC area will be gambling, smoking and facebook friending strippers at Camelot in no time.

One day, I will win a million dollars on a scratch off and will get to redeem it at the famous Franklin D Reeves Lottery redemption center located on 14th and U St. (pictured to the right) The hallowed grounds of the Reeves redemption center are where dreams come to fruition. I can't wait to use the money towards a jet ski, bojangles fried chicken, a red dodge viper and more lotto tickets. It's only a matter of time, I'm sure of it.

What Were You Doing the Day Bojangles Opened?

Roughly 50 years after the passage of the 23rd Amendment, Washingtonians can rejoice once again! The years of oppression and deprivation are finally over. A historic moment occurred today in Washington D.C. After over a year of speculation and anticipation it has finally happened. Bojangles opened its 500th restaurant in the heart of DC at Union Station. This blogger is proud to say that he was order #552 on this momentous event. The best fried chicken on the planet!

History in the making did not go unnoticed by many native Washingtonians. When I arrived to Union Station at 12:45 the line to order snaked around the enormeous food court. At one point, the length of the line caused such a commotion that a Bojangles representative called in Union Station officials for assistance. In a brief interview, a Union Station official stated, "The line has been like this since 6am." The official was not available for further comments. Despite the line, most customers were in a cheerful mood while contemplating their first order.

After about a 30 minute wait, I finally reached the cash register. I knew before arriving what I wanted: 3 piece dinner dark meat with sides of fries and coleslaw, topped off with 2 Bo-Berry biscuits. However, once the manager beckoned me to order I was like a pre-pubescent middle schooler trying to ask a girl to dance for the first time. With my words fumbling and sweat dripping from my palms I finally spat out my order. The operation at this Bojangles location is like clockwork; within 2 minutes I had my meal in hand (as well as an extra to-go meal for a fellow blogger).

It did take 30 minutes to order, but roughly 3 minutes to devour. Every bite was better than the last. The skin was the perfect amount of crisp. The chicken melted in my mouth. The fries were fresh out of the fryer and perfectly salted. The birth of your first child, your first professional sporting event, your first set of tits, your first beer--moments of bliss are few and far between.

We all remember the fall of the Berlin Wall and when Neil Armstrong landed on the moon. This is one of those days in which we will all remember where we stood when Bojangles opened at Union Station. Today is one of those days which makes me most proud to be a blogger. I witnessed history.

The Great Debate: Red Scare?

"Communism is the riddle of history solved, and it knows itself to be this solution." –Karl Marx, 1844

To start, I'm American and I love Freedom and Liberty. So when I went to the famous International Food Court and stumbled upon the Havana Café I felt threatened. The food did look delicious, including items such as chicken, shredded beef, rice and beans. However, the words listed across the storefront had me in fear: Havana—the nation's capital of Cuba and the thriving headquarters for the Communist regime in the 21^st Century. Clearly, I was caught between a rock and a hard place: Do I try a meal from the enemy and risk being blacklisted or go hungry? After much inner struggle, I reasoned that the Havana Café is in the famous International Food Court, the key word being "International." I figured when Americans go to Europe or South America they don't resist smoking a Cuban cigar for the same reason—it's too damn good to pass up.

I kept things simple, I ordered a Cuban sandwich with a side of Cuban style fries. I normally steer clear of sandwiches which have condiments such as pickles and mustard. Usually such additions to a sandwich steal the flavor from the sanctity of the sandwich. Of course, the perfect Cuban sandwich requires a delicate balancing act requiring just the right amount of pickles and mustard atop a mountain of roast pork, ham, and Swiss cheese. Whichever comrade premade this sandwich must have been a trapeze artist in a prior life, because the balancing act was performed to perfection. The flavors all blended together to create a wonderful flavor sensation. The fries, I must contest, were nothing to rant and rave about. I suggest ordering the regular fries when you make your visit.

My trip to the little island south of Miami wasn't nearly as scary as I thought it might be. At least I think so…right? Just in case, I will sleep with one eye open in the event that Senator McCarthy is after me. In the meantime, the comrades at the Havana Café should keep their sickles sharp and hammers finely tuned so that they can keep serving up the finest Cuban sandwich on K St.

Cosi Friday

I enjoyed a flatbread sandwich from Cosi on 12th and G today. Beyond the banter about hazing and drinking soy sauce combined with commentary regarding potential Saturday night activities, the food and atmosphere are very forgettable. I had an italiano sandwich with baby cut carrots and a cup of water. The food was good, the price was fair, and the free flatbread samples while waiting in line were warm and welcomed. The overall experience was a 6/10. Just right for a cool March Friday late afternoon.

Also, it is important to note that we gave a good spiting to the "Maine" lobster roll truck that was parked outside. Rural roads in Maine are the only place where lobster meat should be slung out of the back of a truck.. not in Washington, DC, and not for $15 a piece.

The Great Debate: Is Kelly's Cajun Grill actually a Chinese Restaurant?

Nestled within the confines of the famous International Food Court on 19th and K st. is Kelly's Cajun Grill. On its face, Kelly's appears to offer a variety of "Cajun" style dishes such as Bourbon Chicken and Blackened Fish. Initially, the menu offerings did not appear very inspiring and I lacked an interest in trying any of their dishes. That all changed last week when I walked past Kelly's storefront and a beautiful Asian temptress (a Kelly's Kitchen employee) offered me a sampling of their Bourbon Chicken dish. The flavor burst had me hooked, and I ordered Combo. #1: Bourbon Chicken with Fried Rice and Steamed Broccoli.

The dish itself is simply amazing; the chicken had great texture and is saturated with the perfect amount of their secret bourbon sauce. As much as I enjoyed the dish and left the famous International Food Court with a full stomach, something seemed amiss. Did I just eat a "Cajun" inspired dish or was it a Chinese meal dressed with Southern style tapestry? An old adage states that if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, its probably a duck. But what if it walks like a duck, but barks like a dog? Even though Kelly's doesn't serve duck, I argue to you--Kelly's Cajun Grill is a Chinese Restaurant.

My thesis, albeit controversial, is simple: Kelly's may boast that they serve "Cajun" meals, but evidence suggests otherwise. First, Kelly's is operated by Asians. Second, the menu includes popular items found on typical Chinese restaurant menus such as fried rice, lo mein and beef Bulgogi. Third, several items on the menu are labeled as "Cajun" such as the "Cajun Spicy Chicken," and "Cajun BBQ Ribs," but taste like chicken and ribs basted in teriyaki sauce. Despite all of this evidence, I still refused to accept that Kelly's is a Chinese Restaurant. The final piece of evidence which convinced me otherwise occurred about 30 minutes after eating my meal when I found myself hungry again...

To conlcude, the food at Kelly's is good, whether it is "Cajun" or Chinese. But one thing is for sure: Whoever this Kelly person is, he is definitely from the Far East.

Meat Head

I had the chance to dine at the corner of 12th and G yesterday afternoon when my coworker excitedly announced that the Meat Head Mobile Eatery had just twatted their location as being around the corner from our office.

It was nice to get outside of the Five Guys, PotBelly, Chop't, Mei Wah, Devon & Blakely, Cosi, Moe's routine that we have fallen into here on F Street. Meat Head offers simple, meat packed sandwiches at middle of the road prices. Unfortunately, we were two of the last customers of the day at 1:15pm and the truck had run out of chicken. Given that there are only three options on the menu, I settled for a MooMoo. The MooMoo isn't much more than a steak and cheese with some lettuce, fried onions, and chopped tomoatoes on top. By the time I had returned to the office, the sandwich was luke warm and a little dry. I give the food a 6/10.

The service, on the other hand, was excellent. The guy in the front seat of the truck taking orders gave me a free bag of chips and made a number of inappropriate sarcastic remarks to the needy woman that was in front of me in line. I like that... a lot.. and give the overall experience a 7.5/10. I recommend you go for the food, but stay for the service.

-CC